Many of us fear talking about death and dying. It's often
regarded as one of those 'unmentionables'; distasteful, not appropriate
to discuss in public, insensitive. And yet in some cultures death is
regarded as simply the next phase of life's journey, something that we
move into once our reason for being here on earth is over.
What is it that causes so much apprehension in talking about death and dying?
- To talk about death means acknowledging our own mortality and that can be an unnerving prospect. We may even fear that by discussing death we are tempting fate and drawing it closer to us. For many people death is something that they don't want to think about; it happens to other people, old people, someone else.
- The unknown is a significant factor when thinking about death. Even people who believe in God often have concerns, questions than cannot be fully answered that remain a matter of faith and trust. We may say that we believe in life after death, but many people still keep their fingers crossed whilst they are saying it.
- Questions about the next step, about the process of death and dying, about what happens next, or 'I don't want to think about it' often fascinate us in a 'horror film' kind of way. These questions add to the mystique and apprehension about death and dying. Will there be a white light, will people I know be there waiting for me? These questions cannot be answered definitively whilst we are alive, but they can serve to make us focus on ensuring our lives are fulfilled, satisfying and productive.
And yet, talking about death and dying can bring much peace and comfort to everyone involved in the discussion.
- Many people can be left feeling guilty, unsure if they've got it right after a loved one has gone. Talking about death and dying in an easy manner allows people to ask questions, to say things that might be uncomfortable, discuss how they feel and enable the process to become more natural.
- Discovering what loved ones want, their wishes if they are struck seriously ill, their final intentions after they have gone, being clear about what they'd like, how they feel about things that are important to them, saying what needs to be said can bring a more comfortable atmosphere for everyone involved in the process.
- It can be important to clear the air of any outstanding grievances if there's an opportunity to do so. Talking things through in a non-acrimonious way can allow people to understand each other's point of view, even if resolution or mutual agreement does not occur.
- Having a conversation about death and dying whilst the participants are still relatively young enough for it not to be an imminent prospect and yet old enough to be able to discuss it intelligently is often the most respectful time for a conversation like this. It can appear a little insensitive to be the one who initiates a conversation on death and dying with someone elderly or who is seriously ill.
- Often it is best to wait for the other person to raise the subject, perhaps when they've referred to what they want to happen to them after they've gone. This can provide an opportunity to follow-up on their comments with a sensitive, respectful conversation about their thoughts, other things they'd like to happen, allay concerns they might have. This can bring peace, comfort and reassurance to all concerned.
What is it that causes so much apprehension in talking about death and dying?
- To talk about death means acknowledging our own mortality and that can be an unnerving prospect. We may even fear that by discussing death we are tempting fate and drawing it closer to us. For many people death is something that they don't want to think about; it happens to other people, old people, someone else.
- The unknown is a significant factor when thinking about death. Even people who believe in God often have concerns, questions than cannot be fully answered that remain a matter of faith and trust. We may say that we believe in life after death, but many people still keep their fingers crossed whilst they are saying it.
- Questions about the next step, about the process of death and dying, about what happens next, or 'I don't want to think about it' often fascinate us in a 'horror film' kind of way. These questions add to the mystique and apprehension about death and dying. Will there be a white light, will people I know be there waiting for me? These questions cannot be answered definitively whilst we are alive, but they can serve to make us focus on ensuring our lives are fulfilled, satisfying and productive.
And yet, talking about death and dying can bring much peace and comfort to everyone involved in the discussion.
- Many people can be left feeling guilty, unsure if they've got it right after a loved one has gone. Talking about death and dying in an easy manner allows people to ask questions, to say things that might be uncomfortable, discuss how they feel and enable the process to become more natural.
- Discovering what loved ones want, their wishes if they are struck seriously ill, their final intentions after they have gone, being clear about what they'd like, how they feel about things that are important to them, saying what needs to be said can bring a more comfortable atmosphere for everyone involved in the process.
- It can be important to clear the air of any outstanding grievances if there's an opportunity to do so. Talking things through in a non-acrimonious way can allow people to understand each other's point of view, even if resolution or mutual agreement does not occur.
- Having a conversation about death and dying whilst the participants are still relatively young enough for it not to be an imminent prospect and yet old enough to be able to discuss it intelligently is often the most respectful time for a conversation like this. It can appear a little insensitive to be the one who initiates a conversation on death and dying with someone elderly or who is seriously ill.
- Often it is best to wait for the other person to raise the subject, perhaps when they've referred to what they want to happen to them after they've gone. This can provide an opportunity to follow-up on their comments with a sensitive, respectful conversation about their thoughts, other things they'd like to happen, allay concerns they might have. This can bring peace, comfort and reassurance to all concerned.
Susan Leigh is a long established counsellor and hypnotherapist
who works with clients to help with relationship conflict, stress,
assertiveness and confidence issues. She works with individual, clients,
couples and in corporate situations.
Her book 'Dealing with Death - Coping with the pain' is a self help book dealing with loss, grief and endings in many different life situations. The loss of a loved person, animal, relationship, career is a devastating blow that this book helps the reader work through.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Leigh
Her book 'Dealing with Death - Coping with the pain' is a self help book dealing with loss, grief and endings in many different life situations. The loss of a loved person, animal, relationship, career is a devastating blow that this book helps the reader work through.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
No comments:
Post a Comment